浓缩的政治学

周黎明 发表于 2005-10-25 12:18:59

十多年前在伯克利鬼混时,从同学那里听来很多笑话,觉得好玩便记录下来;后来又觉得好玩把它们编译成中文;再后来还是觉得好玩,便在原作的基础上进行加工改写。现在已经分不清里面有哪些是原创哪些是别人的了。
这是其中一个,以后会陆续拿出来跟大家分享。

给诸多“主义”下定义
法西斯主义:
你有两头母牛。政府抢走一头,强迫它去参军。
纳粹主义:
你有两头母牛。政府带走一头,然后说它鼻子太大、斑点太黑而把它枪毙了。
部落主义:
你有两头母牛。你的邻居把它们抢走,然后把你一枪打死。
重新分配主义:
你有两头母牛。每个人都应有相同数量的牛。因此政府拿走你的牛,切成小碎片,平均分配给每一个人。分配过程中政府的开支数倍于牛的价值。
福利主义:
你有两头母牛。政府拿走一头,分配给一个不会挤奶的人。
官僚主义:
你有两头母牛。政府将它们带走,在运输途中丢失一头,另一头到达目的地后忘了挤奶。
自由主义:
你有两头母牛。它们爱干什么就让它们干什么。
资本主义:
你有两头母牛。你卖掉一头,买回一头公牛。不久又产小牛,小牛长大后又能卖钱,再加上牛奶的收入,如此循环往复,最终你有了自己的牧场。
具有东欧特色的社会主义:
你有两头母牛。政府将它们国有化,你必须以固定价格把牛奶卖给政府,然后政府把坏了的牛奶再卖给你,你必须排队去买。
gongchan主义:
你有两头母牛。(略,原因显而易见)
贸易保护主义:
你有两头母牛。你不可以从外国进口任何牛奶或牛皮制品。
克林顿主义:
你有两头母牛。一头叫做希拉里,它能把你发达;另一头叫做莫尼卡,它能给你带来无穷的烦恼。
关键词(Tag): 笑话
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巴金的遗产

周黎明 发表于 2005-10-22 23:40:04

巴金留给我们最大的遗产是“说真话”的感叹。但说真话谈何容易,我不光是指目前我们的状态,整个人类文明几乎可以理解为“包装真话(or truth)”的过程。“不说真话”是每一种高级文化的基础,整个沟通学和公关行业都建筑在它的基础上。

Telling truth not simply black and white
Raymond Zhou

With the passing of Ba Jin, it's time to look into the legacy of this towering figure in Literary China.

If you scan the online landscape, you may come to the conclusion that Ba Jin was well-respected, but didn't strike a chord with China's netizens. Most postings are made up of one-sentence condolences, proper and formal.

That is not unusual. The online demographic is heavily skewed towards the young, who may not have read his masterpieces such as "Family" and "Chilly Night." Or even if they have, it may be hard for those born in the 1980s to identify with children of the May Fourth Movement.

For those of us who went through the 1980s as adults, Ba Jin represented the epitome of a writer or artist, which is integrity. He was not afraid to cut through his own wounds of the "cultural revolution" (1966-76) and expose his own "sins" while most people of his age and stature would be happily swallowing in their survival skills and accolades.

The memoirs he published in the post-cultural revolution years have a relevancy that overshadows his previous novels, and they can be crystallized into this three-word motto: shuo zhen hua, or speak the truth.

It may sound as hackneyed as every father's admonition. But it may be the most stinging legacy from this prolific writer whose life spanned a whole century.

Speaking the truth may not be easy and often brings on disastrous consequences. I'm not just talking about here and now. The whole notion of civilization can be construed as couching truth in palatable languages, or more bluntly, not telling it as it is.

If the "mirror on the wall" had told the queen that Snow White is not more beautiful than she is, there might not be a poisonous apple incident.

Since this is a fairy tale and the queen is evil personified, nobody would blame the mirror for having a big mouth. However, in real life, there can be at least two types of approaches to giving vent to truth.

One is the artist type. An artist should by nature be truthful to himself and his ideals. That does not mean he cannot use symbols or other circuitous means, but that should be his own choice. He can choose to whisper, sing or even rant and does not need to think much of how others will respond.

On the other side is the politician, who, on most occasions, cannot blurt out what is on his mind. He will have to identify his goal first, and then find the best persuasive expression to reach it.

In novels and films, the protagonist is generally a straight arrow and calls a spade a spade. A hero who tricks the villain, without provocation, into foolery and defeat may automatically lose his moral credentials.

When a child is growing up, he or she is torn between these two forces: You must tell the truth and not lie; you should speak properly and not hurt others' feelings. This paradox plagues us into our adult lives.

Truth can hurt, and the object is not only evil queens. The Western culture is so enamoured with the cute appearance of babies that you'd be forced to lie if a baby has the face of Quasimodo. Seinfeld, the 1990s hit television sitcom, made a whole episode out of breaking this taboo when the main characters dropped their jaws and got convulsed in horror at the sight of a friend's newborn.

And as pop songs go, the truth shall set you free. But in reality, the truth can also haunt you for the rest of your life. That's why we have the saying "blissfully ignorant."

I'm not sabotaging Ba Jin's axiom here. As everyone is aware, not telling the truth can be disastrous, which was illustrated in the 2003 SARS epidemic. But telling the truth is not as simple as black and white. The whole public relations business exists to present "truth" in a seller-friendly way.

Withholding truth does not necessarily mean telling lies because the latter is often viewed as an act of desperation or a sign of imminent failure. But not telling the whole truth is almost de rigueur in modern life. It is the line between social etiquette and massive deception that we should watch out for.

Ba Jin had a lofty ideal. Truth be told, no sane person can achieve it 100 per cent. But a society that totally ignores it will be insane.
关键词(Tag): 巴金
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对海外媒体对我超女评论的评论的正式回应

周黎明 发表于 2005-10-15 13:19:03

Setting record straight on Super Girls analysis article

A month and half ago, I wrote a piece of news analysis on the Super Girls phenomenon. It was carried on the weekend edition of China Daily the day after the grand finale of the wildly popular vocal contest.

Since then, I have been quoted by several English-language news outlets, among them The South China Morning Post, The New York Times, and recently, The Asian Edition of Time magazine.

I suppose I should feel flattered by the attention of such prestigious peers. But instead, I’m a little dismayed because I have been invariably misunderstood, and in every possible way I can imagine.

First of all, all of them quoted the same sentence from my article and attributed it to the Chinese government: “How come an imitation of a democratic system ends up selecting the singer who has the least ability to carry a tune?”

I’ll clarify it once and for all: Nobody – not any government agency, nor my boss -- had given me instructions or hints that I should question the validity of the winner, the tomboyish Li Yuchun. I happen to be a lover of vocal music and I was truly puzzled. Besides, there was a consensus that, among the top five finalists, Li is vocally the weakest. Even her fans concurred. That doesn’t mean she could not be a good entertainer, though.

But that’s not the point. Contrary to what the Time piece said, my article was not an editorial, nor was it an opinion piece as everyone else seemed to believe. It was a summary of the debate that was going on throughout Cultural China in August and I tried to cover all significant points expounded by eminent opinion leaders, none of whom, by the way, were on the China Daily staff.

My oft-quoted remark was a mere transitional sentence. Even though it reflected my own bewilderment, most of my interviewees shared this view.

The more I talked to people, the more I realized that Super Girls is such a conundrum that presenting a convenient argument about it would amount to the proverbial blind man deciphering an elephant.

The South China Morning Post editorial said I missed the point because I had mistaken audience participation for democracy.

Of course one mobile phone 15 votes is different from one person one vote. But when the votes tallied millions, wouldn’t it at least simulate the mechanism of democracy in spirit if not in detail? Otherwise, all those experts would be making a mountain out of a molehill.

The author then mentioned in the same breath The Apprentice, which, on a political level, has just the opposite connotation of democracy since Donald Trump, the one big boss, makes the final decision and doesn’t need to bother with any voting system.

On the other end of the spectrum is Time Asia, which has just made Li Yuchun one of “Asia’s heroes” in the iconoclast category. Now, I would respectfully disagree, not on the ground of vocal prowess, but because I feel they have taken the reflection of an object for the object itself. Normally, the mirror image of a person, figuratively, is identical with the person, but in this case, reactions towards this reality show are what have added weight to it.

Super Girls is indeed an entertainment show, and a highly successful one at that. It’s not out to make a statement. The producers in Hunan adopted audience participation as a “business paradigm,” and as businessmen they are by nature averse to risks, including political ones.

Nor were voters – mostly teenagers for this American Idol wannabe – conscious of possible ramifications. They often felt funny when asked about this.

However, it was natural for cultural experts to read meanings into it especially after a few American newspapers reported on it first, inadvertently leaving a cue to their Chinese counterparts. The influential Southern Weekend had two multi-page special sections on it within two months, effectively elevating the topic from the entertainment page to the cultural page.

On this higher plane, the implication could not and should not be ignored. And democracy is not the only angle. One can interpret the phenomenon from a variety of perspectives. No matter which way you examine it, Li Yuchun is not the hero, not in the sense of a Cui Jian or even a Madonna, at least not yet. What is “heroic" is someone’s projection onto her, or rather, unto the topic.
关键词(Tag): 超女
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表演团体应该在节日为民众免费演出

周黎明 发表于 2005-10-03 10:45:32

这不是降低身份,变成街头卖艺的,而是把表演艺术真正带给普通老百姓。卡拉扬、斯特里普能做得,我们的高贵艺术家为什么做不到?人家是纯私立的能做得,我们的团体全是吃皇粮的,为什么做不到?

Take performing arts to the street

I once flew over a sprawling metropolis in the American South on the night of July 4. Small pockets of fireworks sparkled below. And I knew many of them were illegal.

Unknownst to many Chinese, US cities also have strict policies on firecrackers and organize periodic crackdowns on unauthorized selling and using. And like in China, the restrictions don’t work that well.

People want an outlet for their jubilation, and firecrackers, for all the obvious side effects, seem to meet the need. Of course, Chinese, except Hongkongers, don’t usually stage fireworks display on the National Day. It’s more for the Lunar New Year.

Mainland Chinese have something for our National Day that nobody else has: a weeklong holiday. But before it becomes the envy of the world, it has run into a few glitches, most notably traffic jams at tourist sites.

Tens of millions of people taking to the road and cramming into national parks and world heritage sites can strain resources beyond the capacity of any business. So, how can a country of 1.3 billion have a collective celebration without turning it into massive chaos or, at the other extreme, a series of rehearsed events?

One solution is to offer diversified live entertainment by sending the nation’s performing arts troupes into outdoor public venues.

As more and more urbanites are staying away from popular tourist destinations, cities are swarmed with humanity during the Golden Week. People may take short getaways, call on friends or relax at home, but there is plenty of time for shopping trips or jaunts to local parks. Besides, millions of migrant workers won’t be leaving cities because of cost and fewer off-days.

All this creates a perfect condition for staging small-sized public performances across metropolitan China. And these shows should be free and publicized. If prepared well, they would entail very little marginal cost or logistics.

China’s performing arts troupes are almost all state-sponsored. As a giveback, they offer a certain number of “non-commercial” performances by traveling to remote rural areas or industrial towns to add some “luster of culture,” which is what they should. But they also spend lavishly on acts that appeal only to a few award jurors.

Now, if each of these groups put on a single full-length show during the 7-day holiday and do it in a public venue such as a park, a downtown plaza or a street closed off for pedestrians, it can easily draw an audience of thousands, many of whom in search of recreational activities to kill their time.

It doesn’t have to be elaborate, just two dozen singers, dancers and comedians with proper sound amplification on a slightly elevated makeshift stage. Viola, we have a show. And it doesn’t have to be specially programmed as existing acts from their repertories may fit the bill perfectly.

Offering free performances on the street can enliven a city’s cultural scene with the minimum amount of investment. And it won’t encroach on arts groups’ regular business because it’s basically a free sampling of their “products” and will most probably entice more paying patrons.

Yet, many artists will cringe at such a prospect. Performing arts are sacred to them, and a properly outfitted theatre is the only setting they’ll find acceptable. Ever since New China exalted the status of performing artists, it inadvertently set up a partition between those who perform and those who watch. It seems art is to be delivered from up high. Singing, dancing, telling jokes and doing somersaults among the audience, rather than to them, and on the street, may remind one of street performers of the old days who were essentially beggars.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. In the West, free performances last through all summer. Opera companies and classical orchestras dole out popular offerings. Even Meryl Streep gives her rendition of classic plays in New York’s Central Park, turning it into the cultural event of the year for that city.

Now, imagine an ancient capital like Beijing, where performing arts troupes may exceed 100. One free outdoor performance by each company, preferably for each of the three Golden Weeks or, better, spread throughout the year, and Beijing will sparkle with fireworks of cultural vibrancy.
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赵燕案之我见

周黎明 发表于 2005-09-25 21:43:57

国人对赵燕案的反应,在网络上有点像发高烧,忽冷忽热从爱到恨令人吃惊。对那美国官员义愤填膺时,完全不考虑“被告在被证明有罪前,必须先假定是无辜的”这类常识;当听说赵燕是公费旅游时,对她的漫骂之凶,又不考虑她是否贪官跟她被打这两件事毫不相干。每当发生这类不幸的突发事件时,理性总是第一个被抛掷窗外的有碍之物。

Be rational in response to beating of Zhao Yan

A Chinese tourist looking around the Niagara Falls near the US-Canadian border was severely beaten by a US security officer.

That was basically what happened on July 21, 2004, and how facts are presented and shape public opinion, including influencing jurors deserves attention.

When the bruised face of Zhao Yan appeared in the media a year ago, it sent a shockwave among the Chinese public - and rightly so. What did she do to have deserved such cruel treatment?

However, in the subsequent rainstorm of denunciations posted on popular websites, there was rarely any judicious analysis. Many simply jumped to the conclusion that the officer did it out of malice for Chinese people per se, not thinking that there are many other nationals who look like Chinese in the American eye, let alone the tens of millions of Asian-Americans.

There seemed to be a distinct line between traditional media and the new media in reflecting this unfortunate incident. While the "old school" tended to adhere to journalistic principles and reported on how the Chinese and the US governments dealt with the matter, some "new kids on the block" took the sensational route, eliciting wholesale condemnation and stereotyping.

Police brutality could certainly be a justifiable issue here, but cultural differences may have played a bigger role. To Zhao Yan, the 38-year-old businesswoman from Tianjin, North China, it seemed an intuitive response to flee from someone who was chasing her. It may not even matter how she would have reacted in a similar situation in China because all the Hollywood movies could have conditioned her to take off.

To Robert Rhodes, the US Homeland Security officer charged with violating Zhao's civil rights and recently acquitted in the criminal case, it was his duty to arrest someone who fit the description of a drug-trafficking suspect and, when Zhao fled and reached for something in her bag, used all means to stop her. There have been frequent reports in the US of hesitant or lenient cops who ended up being killed in their line of duty by those they were trying to detain.

Did Rhodes use excessive force? It appeared so from the photo. But again, we must examine the circumstances of how one thing led to another. Each one gave an account that was favourable to his or her own argument, which did not really surprise anyone. Assuming each was telling the truth, it may not be the whole truth. Rhodes' track record may shed light on whether he has a penchant for "excessive force."

We must admit that the jurors had a ringside seat on the facts than someone like me who is getting the details from media coverage. I respect their verdict, but that did not reduce my sympathy for Zhao. She may not have acted wisely, but how could she know better? It is ludicrous to expect her to act like an American the minute she descended on the land. That's why the word "tourist" has certain connotations.

Public perception towards Zhao Yan took a sharp turn when someone leaked that hers was a government-paid pleasure trip disguised as a business trip. Online responses were swift and vicious: "She deserved the beating and it served her right," many wrote.

One could not help but marvel at the hatred that Chinese people have for official corruption. However, who footed her travel bill and who was her employer is totally irrelevant to this case. The same goes for the defendant's claim that she had violated her visa restrictions by engaging in activities not allowed by her visa type. Even if she had jumped ship and was in the US illegally, she should not be treated inhumanely. That is the bottom line.

My deduction is, those who were exhilarated to see a "damned corrupt person" beaten were the same ones who had earlier felt the whole Chinese nation was insulted. When news was presented in a sensational form, it certainly evokes simplistic responses. While it is good to care about one's compatriots, especially when they are away from the homeland, it may not be rational to equate an isolated incident with a full-blown bilateral confrontation.

Sensationalizing the Rodney King beating did not help America's racial relations. Nor will this case for justice or Sino-US relations.
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广告的明星效应和边际效益

周黎明 发表于 2005-09-23 16:38:58

打开电视,看到铺天盖地的广告。这没有什么不好,广告量丰富至少证明媒体踏上了商业化的正轨,而且节目本身反正没什么看头,多看点广告也有助于了解商品动态。没多久,我注意到一个奇特的现象,那就是这些广告十之八九借用了明星形象。

明星拍广告不是新鲜事,西方也有。当然西方顶级的大明星一般不愿“屈尊”作广告,因为他们拍电影、录唱片的报酬要高得多,不值得为区区几百万美元的“零花钱”跟商品直接“挂钩”;而我国明星若能接拍广告,那收入是大头,所以这并不表示西方明星比中国明星更清高,而是经济规律在起作用。对于商家,启用明星作为商品的代言人,其好处显而易见——明星具有现存的知名度,他们的形象和言行能招徕更多的“眼球”。

广告成了综艺节目

但现阶段中国的明星广告大有“不分青红皂白”的趋势——只要你会唱歌跳舞演戏、名字上过报纸娱乐版,就会有商家请你拍广告。有些明星似乎并不具有广泛的知名度,甚至不如所宣传的企业或产品来的有名;知名企业请这些不太知名的明星拍广告,与其说是在宣传产品,不如说是在出钱为明星作宣传。有些人的影响力仅限于特定的社会层或年龄层,跟产品的目标客户没有太明显的对应。在正常的环境里,企业在请明星作广告前都会问几个问题:“为什么要请明星?为什么要请这个明星?”记得几年前,一个著名的丝袜品牌请来了摇滚巨星蒂纳•透纳,早已升任奶奶的蒂纳并没有唱过赞美丝袜的歌曲,但她以一双迷人的玉腿著称,在演唱会开场时电视摄像镜头不拍她的脸,专门对准她的腿。美腿勾魂,这跟丝袜没有必然的关联,但美腿是丝袜所需“附”的“皮”,因此请蒂纳宣传丝袜有内在的逻辑性。回头看看咱们的洗发水广告,似乎只要不是秃头都有资格;如果能请动哪个削发为尼的大明星,商家一定会给她带上假发,让她也站在风扇和聚光灯下甩一甩。

我相信每个商家都能罗列出一大堆聘请明星的理由,但这些理由中一定不会有“跟明星同桌吃饭”、“跟明星合影”等满足追星欲望的表现。至于该明星对于消费群体的影响到底有多大,有没有科学的研究?这就不得而知了。

谁是这种产品的最佳口碑制造者?

消费者在作一项购买决定时,会有意无意地考虑众多的因素,如该产品的价格、质量、式样、售后服务等,其中一个重要的因素就是口碑。人们相信自己信得过的人所作的推荐,而明星则是大众媒体时代口碑的升华,在愤世嫉俗者眼里,那也是对口碑的劫持。但是,不同的商品需要不同的口碑来源,因为影响购买的口碑制造者(行话称作“意见领袖”,opinion leader)往往因产品而异,比如买菜你可能听取邻居大妈的意见,而买空调你可能会更留意办公室同事的判断;即便是同一类产品,不同年龄段也有不同的“意见领袖”,比如小学时买衣服由妈妈作主,中学时看同学中的酷哥酷妹穿什么,大学时则要讨女朋友的欢心,等等……

有些明星由于公众形象或所作节目的关系,对于某个消费群体有明显的魅力和煽动力,他们最适合于这种特定产品的宣传,如百事可乐一向启用当红歌星作代言人,原因是百事打的是青少年的市场,而流行歌曲的歌迷以青少年为主。有些明星非常注意塑造自己的公众形象,他们的成功不限于某个群体,而是老幼咸宜,具有广泛的亲和力,常见的例子有乔丹和刘德华。不管你卖的是什么产品,只要你出的起那笔钱,你都愿请他们为你露个脸、说个好,因此他们的广告特别多。但一个人“代言”的产品太多、太杂,即便种类各异,最终广告效果必定会出现“稀释”现象。不信你作一个市场调查,请人在刘德华或成龙的名字后写出一种立刻联想到的产品,我相信十个回答中起码会有五种不同的产品名字。虽说广告代言人不必是从一而终的传统姻缘,但兜售公众形象跟表达爱意一样,对象太多的话总会分散有限的爱心或号召力。

傍大腕最节省脑力

一个明星所“卖”的商品越多,对其中每个产品产生的边际效益就越小。同理,大家都采取明星广告的手法,产品沾明星之光的概率也就越低。在产品行销中,出奇制胜比什么都重要,再好的手法,用多了也会使人腻味。我国现在正处于明星广告的高峰期,就好像某个季度流行红色服装,你穿大红,我就穿粉红,她又穿紫红,仿佛这就算是标新立异了。殊不知,你若反其道而行之,突然穿上黄色或绿色,一定更惹人注目,而且一下把对手变成了你的陪衬人;再说在大家都争先恐后穿红色时,黄色或绿色的布料可能特别便宜。

在西方常见的电视广告中,幽默和叙事是很有效的手法,但这两类广告在我国电视上鲜少露面。在30秒钟里编一个隽永的故事或笑话,肯定要比请名人说两句话更需要创意,但苹果电脑、雀巢咖啡、Levi牛仔裤都曾用这种方法创作了令人激赏的广告,尤其是苹果在1984年推出的“1984”麦金塔电视广告,以奥维尔名著为典故,暗喻IBM的专制地位将受到挑战。该广告不仅为产品打响了第一炮,并且跟文学名著和经典电影一样成为优秀文化的组成部分。

我国处于市场经济的初级阶段,不指望哪个电视广告能惊天动地,哪个能流芳百世,但在斥巨资作广告之前至少多动点脑子,多考虑几种方案,把每种方案的利弊都权衡一下,而不是贴上一个叫得出名字的大头像就算完事。这是广告商对客户应尽的责任,也是企业高层对股民负责的表现。
关键词(Tag): 广告
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最易学,但难学精

周黎明 发表于 2005-09-21 00:09:46

语言的国际化,跟它的包容性息息相关。一种封闭的语言,是不大可能横扫天下的,即便在产品铺到地球每个角落的年代。

戈达尔的经典影片《周末》中有无数的西式文革语言,但给我留下最深印象的却是这一句:莫扎特是最容易演奏的,但也是最难演好的。
很久很久以前,念过一本讲英语的小册子,记得是中山大学王宗炎教授推荐的(不对,好像是他布置的必读教材):英语是最容易学的,也是最难学精的。原文大概是:English is the easiest language to speak, but the most difficult to speak well.
这结论估计会遭到很多人的反对。任何人的母语对自己而言,似乎都是最容易学的,也都是最难学精通的。
但不可否认,上面两句话都有一定道理。小朋友学琴,很快就可以来一段《土耳其进行曲》,几个音乐学生凑到一起,十之八九是演奏《Eine Kleine Nachtmusik》。一位声乐专家曾说:唱莫扎特就是清嗓子。谁都能奏(或唱),而且基本也算称职,但要唱成Renee Fleming或Fritz Wunderlich,好像一代人当中只能出一个。
说起英语,想到前一阵复旦的中文比赛老外拿大奖的事情。若放在十多年前,一定是义愤填膺:中文比赛怎么能让老外得冠军?岂不是乱了三纲五常?现在进步了,集体反应改为:咱们中国人的母语真是退步了,连自家的宝座都保不住了。
怎么没人想到,老外能赢得中文比赛,可能标志着中文正在国际化呢?
数一数英文的成功作家,里面有多少是长大后才学的英文,比如影响极广的Ayn Rand是从俄国移民美国的,著名电影编导Billy Wilder是从德国过去的,哈金和郑念的英文著作也有着极高的文字水准。当然,我们有大山,能讲几段相声,但他忙着靠卖英语赚钱的;阮玲玉的《恋爱与义务》是由一位定居中国的波兰女作家写的,不知原本就是中文写作还是翻译过来的。赛珍珠生长在中国,她把英文当作中文来写,把“放屁”写成“pass your wind”,但中国人还是把她当作外人,尽管她有诺贝尔奖,但我们仍恨不得把她贬到十八层地狱。其实她的罪名很简单:一个金头发的人怎么能写中国的人和事而且又去拿大奖?这让我们的老脸往哪儿搁?这跟贝托鲁齐拍《末代皇帝》性质相似,好在我们马上补拍一部,来压压他的气焰。
当老外讲中文时(即便是冒出一两句),国人还是非常喜欢的,因为这能证明人家对我们的友好。但如果老外的中文比某些国人还强时,我们的尊严就变得无比脆弱。说实话,中文要比英文难学得多,有简繁两种写法以及十来种不同的拼音,再加上我们填鸭式的教学法,估计要达到鲁迅或茅盾文学奖的程度,对于一个老外需要有超人的毅力。
哪天他达到了那个水平,得到的不是我们的赞赏,可能是一个“你好大的胆”的表情。凭着这种心态,我们还指望中文打遍天下跟英文分一杯羹?我们连港台方言都要禁(至少是对主持人),那英国人早该炸平美国、澳大利亚、新加坡、南非、牙买加那些亵渎女王高贵语言的地方了。如果当初他们也如此保护语言,大概真正纯正的英语到现在仍只流传于伦敦的几条街道和那两所大学了。
关键词(Tag): 语言
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超级女声的远大前程

周黎明 发表于 2005-09-17 16:59:37

2055年8月26日,中国文化遗产协会向联合国科教文组织正式提出申请,为“超级女声”节目申请“人类口头和非物质文化遗产”。
2050年,著名学者余杰先生发表评论,认为超女是我国对世界文化作出了巨大贡献,影响巨大,波及到美国、英国等地的电视形态……
2038年,张靓颖获得“人民艺术家”的光荣称号,她演唱的“划了一个圈”、“党啊我亲爱的母亲”等被誉为传唱不衰、百听不厌的经典歌曲,已经被选入幼儿园音乐课本。
2034年,文化部投资16亿元,打造超女30周年盛大晚会,并请出所有曾参与该节目、进入前十名、仍在世、政治立场正确的超女。为确保人人都有机会,平均每首歌由25人演出,每人一句。演出向全球转播,落地播出的电视台国内的可获得一千万元补贴,海外五千万。(注:此处包涵了通货膨胀因素)
2029年,新华社消息,国家每年为举办超女,投入约7.5亿元(那时一个贫困大学生大约每年举债8万元),《人民日报》发表评论:“这显示了我国对文化事业的高度重视,极大地丰富了全国人民的文化生活……”
2020年,李宇春和金星因在欧洲演出时,擅自上演男女声二重唱兼舞蹈兼行为艺术《新编东北二人转》,被取消第二届超女冠军的称号,全国媒体接到上级通知,以后不许报道李宇春的任何消息。余杰发表评论,认为李宇春在2005年就犯了路线错误,但受到批评后拒不认错,因此人品有问题。
2016年,超女剧组宣布,以后比赛曲目若是港台歌曲,自动扣除3分;如果是主旋律歌曲,则自动增加5分;如果把民歌中的“郎啊”改成韵母相同的某个字,则自动增加18分。
2015年,超女剧组宣布,今后一般不考虑外文歌曲(除非我国刚好跟某国发展友好关系,那可以考虑加插一两首该国的歌曲)。张靓颖表示双手赞成,并当场演唱了“同一首歌”和“欢乐今霄”。
2014年,超女被央视正式接管,央视发言人说:“以央视的雄厚资金和庞大人才库,节目一定可以更上一层楼,真正得到全国人民的喜爱。”
2010年,湖南卫视经过长时间的调试,正式取消PK这种淘汰形式。节目负责人说:“我们虚心接受专家的批评,改变了原来的错误思想,认识到这种残酷的方式是对青少年身心的摧残。”
2008年,超女聘请赵忠祥和倪萍作为主持人。
2007年,超女舞台布置进行调整,新的舞台以红灯笼为主要装饰,参赛者百分之八十选择了长辫子,末梢系一根红头绳。专家表示,这次的舞美和服装的改造充分发扬了中华民族的优良传统。
关于2005年,全国电视协会编撰的《中国电视史纲要2055年版》中提到:“2005年,由湖南卫视举办的歌咏比赛《超级女声》受到一些人的关注,主要是心态欠成熟的青少年。节目一推出,就受到各界的强烈批评,专家们一致认为,节目的格调低下,商业味浓厚,不能反映中华民族的优秀文化。好在崔永元等业内行家及时指正,力挽狂澜,防止了这种趋势的泛滥。如今,这个节目已经发展为深受广大人民群众欢迎的经典节目,在中国电视史留下了辉煌的一页。”

哦,对了,这是我前几天做的一个梦,记录下来跟超女迷分享。因为是片断,残缺不全之处敬请大家原谅。
关键词(Tag): 超女
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苹果vs.梨子

周黎明 发表于 2005-09-16 15:59:35

苹果对梨子说:“梨子老弟,你为什么不是苹果呢?好好努力一下,还是有可能晋升为苹果的嘛。”
原来,苹果认为,自己是水果进化的最高阶段,他不满梨子搅乱水果市场。
梨子答道:“我不是苹果,但我很快乐,也没想高升为苹果呀。”
苹果叹道:“真是不思进取呀。”于是他只能大声忠告路人:“大家小心了,他不是苹果!不要上当!我才是正宗的苹果。”
有几只小苹果补充道:“他不仅不是苹果,甚至连水果都算不上,因为咱们苹果和水果都有一个果字,你听说过梨子果吗?果子狸倒是有,但那是传播SARS病毒的有害之物,而这些梨子也冒充水果误人子弟,跟果子狸一丘之貉。”
梨子眼看自己要被开除出水果家族,心想:“得,咱们搬家吧,惹不起但总躲得起吧。”
正当苹果得意之时,又有人站出来说:“中国根本就没有真正的水果,哪像法国,那里出产的才是正宗的水果。”
说这话的人只是听说过法国葡萄酒扬名世界,自己也没有品尝过,但他认定了,夸法国水果肯定不会错,而且还能提高自己的身份哩。
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莎乐美——绝望的古代美眉

周黎明 发表于 2005-09-15 17:19:40

本文是一个开场白,目的是向诸位推荐一篇精彩绝伦的美文。
90年代初,我疯狂地爱上了西洋歌剧,听遍了旧金山湾区各大图书馆所有的歌剧唱片,而旧金山歌剧院的演出季,更是每个剧目都不容错过。
旧金山歌剧院不是全球四大,但属于全美四大,每季上演十来个剧目,有些滥竽充数,有些则棒得出人意料。为了不浪费不菲的门票(其实,当学生时,经常买八美元一张的站票,呵呵),我会事先听熟该剧的唱片,把剧本的英文版通读一遍,查阅一下背景,以免高级享受锐变成高级受罪。
不知怎的,看《莎乐美》前,什么准备工作也没做。心想,我多半不会喜欢,因为理查•斯特劳斯不像威尔第、普契尼那样琅琅上口。但,那次经历却成了我观赏歌剧中最奇特的一次。
我知道这是改编自奥斯卡•王尔德的话剧,而这位王先生又是唯美主义的大师。一直以为唯美主义相当于现在的小资文风,岂知该剧的歌剧版(选取原剧主要台词,但译成了德语。王是英国作家,但该剧用法语写作)让我恍然大悟,原来这是一部弗洛伊德精神分析的歌剧,至少这可以成为一种有效的诠释。舞台布景淡化了时代背景,没有一丝耶稣时代中东皇宫的色彩,一个巨大的月亮挂在幕布上,舞台左侧是一个跟月亮呼应的圆形大井口,施洗者约翰就被关在里面。没有序曲,没有铺垫,第一个和弦彷佛就在描写月亮的诡异,然后就是暗恋莎乐美的卫士上场,眼睁睁看着他的梦中恋人一步步“自甘堕落”。
这部戏的男女主角可以有无数的解读:圣洁的圣人和变态的美眉,禁欲的摇滚歌星和性解放的古典木子美,而我更倾向于把它看成欲望的冲突。约翰代表着精神的欲望,用咱们老百姓的话来说,就是一心想成仙;而莎乐美则散发出强烈的肉体欲望,一心想寻欢,当然,肉欲可以很纯情,也可以很猥亵。本着平反潘金莲的传统,我倾向于纯洁之说,因为该剧中猥亵的任务交给了莎乐美的后爸——一个典型的日本式恋童僻者。
这个旧金山演出版本找到了这种解读的最完美的演员:扮演约翰的汤姆•福克斯,模特儿一般的身材,半裸,身上涂满荧光粉,但完全无视莎乐美的青春洋溢,更没意识到自己的潘安之魅力。他一出场,你完全可以接受为什么莎乐美会死活要摸他、亲他的嘴。莎乐美的演员当然不可能是十五六岁,这个年龄是不可能在世界一流歌剧院登台演主角的,玛利亚•尤温(Maria Ewing)原本是个女中音,曾经在70年代的电影版《费加罗的婚礼》中扮演那个偷情的少年(歌剧中女唱男角的,叫做“裤子角色”,“裤子”相对于“裙子”),她近看并不漂亮,眼睛凸凸的,但身材不错,远看能冒充少女。于是,她来了一个绝活:在“七层纱舞”(Dance of the Seven Veils)的高潮,来一个正面全裸的造型。据说,那是歌剧舞台上首次出现主角全裸。对于很多能唱莎乐美这个角色的歌唱家来说,别说裸体,能跳那个舞蹈的都罕见,碰到300磅的,导演不得不采用一角两演的分身法,请一个舞蹈演员来跳,歌手在一旁唱。
这也是我第一次意识到,那首脍炙人口的“七层纱舞”,原来是脱衣舞,整个过程就是把那七层衣服一层层脱掉。有朝一日金星或哪位有识之舞蹈者能演绎一下,一定大有看头。
全剧中能单独拿出来的音乐片断,大概就这首无比暧昧、无比挑逗的舞曲。最后的十几分钟是莎乐美的大段独唱(术语aria),讲她终于能亲约翰的嘴时所表露出来的狂喜(约翰已应她的强烈要求而被砍头,她是吻餐盘上的头颅)。唱好这段挺难的,那种远离装疯卖傻的疯劲很难装,多少要发自肺腑。好的演员,唱到那里,八九不离十已经入戏了。首次看到那段时,顿时联想起《致命诱惑》中的情节,还有不时见诸报端的男子被老婆或情人阉割的八卦新闻。这大概是欲望的极致了。没有哪出戏,像《莎乐美》那样,展示了欲望的无限可能性。两种南辕北辙的欲望,在一个离耶稣不远的地方猛烈撞击,迸发出美丽而残酷的艺术火星。一点也不小资,那完全是风格化的“大资”。如果王尔德的唯美主义是京剧,现在的小资就相当于越剧吧,咿咿呀呀的,大概会表现一下约翰和莎乐美在新天地品尝卡普齐诺、凝望奔驰宝马,然后回家在博客里写道:“那甜蜜的吻……”。那心情日记是不可能用京剧来唱的,不是吗?
这是我见过的描写变态(其实欲望不是变态,而应该是常态)的最迷人的艺术作品。
扯了这么多,无非是想说明,当我拜读王蒙先生这篇文章时,是多么惊叹他的自如(在寻找中西方艺术中的共通点),分析多么精辟透彻,文字多么游刃有余,令我高山仰止。前两个月,我也曾经写了一篇比较三个不同作品的文章,分别是一部电影、一部小说和一部歌剧,由于跨度大,有点难以驾驭,很多感想找不到词汇来表达。
闲话少说,言归正传——

王蒙:莎乐美、潘金莲和巴别尔的骑兵军
原载《读书》2005年第3期
http://www.ideobook.net/?p=34
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中国同性恋的压力来自何处?

周黎明 发表于 2005-09-13 14:49:37

两年前,我向编辑提议做一个同性恋的专题。无果。央视的《新闻调查》播出后,我的专题迅速复活。现在的麻烦是,我如何做得跟他们不同。随着采访的深入,原先的主要部分成了次要部分,而家庭压力成了文章的主角。遗憾的是,我未能采访到同志的父母,因为他们其实是这个故事的另一方。

Gays live a difficult life under social bias
By Raymond Zhou (China Daily)
2005-09-06

Gu Du was the victim of extortion. He was blackmailed, as well as being chastised by his employer and almost fired.

The reason: Gu is gay.

Gu worked in machine design for a Chengdu company. His father used to be head of this State-owned enterprise and his mother works in the trade union of the same company. He shared a company dormitory room with a few co-workers and surfed the Internet on his own computer after work.

One night about six months ago, he was spotted browsing a gay website by his roommate co-worker. Confronted by him, he initially denied he was gay. But his roommate knew better.

The roommate offered him a choice: Gu could pay him 5,000 yuan (US6) in hush money or he would tell the boss.

Gu was agitated, but thought the man was bluffing. A few days later, he was called to see the head of the company.

"I heard you have been engaged in hooliganism," said the boss, using a term that covers conduct as severe as rape and as light as saying four-letter words, or "shua liu mang" in Chinese.

Gu denied doing anything wrong, but upon interrogation he admitted he was a homosexual and had been leafing through a few gay-themed websites in his spare time. He said he did not look at porno sites, however.

But his boss was not interested in such technicalities. He threatened to slap him with some kind of penalty.

Before that materialized, Gu was faced with the biggest penalty he could imagine: the incident was reported to his parents.

His father was so furious he disowned the son. "I wish I'd never had you as my son," he yelled.

The news struck Gu Du's mother as a bolt of lightning from the sky. She fell sick and had to be hospitalized. His brother and sister refused to talk to him any more, saying they were "ashamed of having a sibling who's abnormal."

In despair, Gu Du thought of killing himself. "I couldn't go to work again. Even though they didn't fire me, I had to suffer the looks from all my colleagues," he told China Daily.

He ended up leaving Chengdu for Hangzhou, a city where he didn't know anyone and nobody knew he was gay.

Family pressure

Last November, government agencies published a report that put the number of gay men in China who are "of a sexually active age" at 5-10 million. Scientists say this is the low end of the estimate. They figure that there are around 30-40 million homosexual men and women in total.

In 1997, China's Criminal Law decriminalized sodomy. In 2001, homosexuality was removed from the list of mental disorders by health authorities.

But the changing law does not necessarily change public perception. Most gay people interviewed for this story agree that the single biggest source of pressure and stigma comes from their own families. "My employer doesn't care about my private life, and the neighbourhood grandma is not nosy any more. But there's no way I can get past my own mum and dad," said Lu Youni, a Guangzhou high school teacher.

Most parents cannot imagine in their wildest dreams that their children could be gay. They usually do not pick up the subtle signals that hint that their kids may be attracted to those of their own sex. When revelation dawns, it is normally such a shock that it feels like falling into a vortex of tongue-tied humiliation.

"They'd rather I became paralyzed, so that they could give me unconditional love and sympathy. If I became an alien, at least they would be curious about me," said Gu Du.

Unlike Gu, a few people take the calculated step of "coming out" to their parents. Fei Xue, a Jiangsu man who works in a local tax agency, had maintained a very close relationship with his father, who is a medical expert. Believing he was in a better position than most gay men whose parents are "less educated about these things," Fei showed his diary to his father, in which he detailed his emotional life. Father thumbed through each page, and then left his room quietly.

The next day, his father told him to cut off all connections with his gay friends and forbade him to leave his hometown for work elsewhere. "Now I advise others to be extremely cautious before they come out," he sighed.

There are occasional reports of parents who acquiesce or look the other way. Some are well - informed enough to know that their gay children do not have any "disease," they are just different from the majority. Others can accept it as long as their gay children are happy. But insiders suggest that these "Wedding Banquet" scenarios are few and far between.

The pitfall of marriage

The film "Wedding Banquet," directed by Ang Lee, portrays a gay son who is coerced into marriage. This is the fate of 80-90 per cent of gays in China, according to research.

Traditionally, the Chinese did not frown upon homosexuality as much as those in Christian countries in the West. In some dynasties such as Han, it was viewed almost as a "chic lifestyle." On the other hand, the Chinese place a tremendous emphasis on "carrying on the family line." If a man remains unmarried at the age of 30, his parents fret and nag and devote a significant amount of time to finding a spouse for him.

"What can I do? If I don't marry, I will break my parents' hearts. If I do marry, I'll ruin the life of an innocent girl," lamented Lu Youni, the Guangzhou teacher, who was, in the end, dragged into matrimony.

Some men search for lesbians in order to feign marriages that can be mutually beneficial. But since finding a lesbian is much harder than finding a gay man in China, most settle into a "marriage of convenience" in which the other party is kept in the dark. Many also want to believe that they can change their sexual orientation if they try hard enough.

These marriages invariably end in tragedy. However, they do take off much of the pressure from the family. Parents tend to believe that gay children do not remarry because they are heart-broken from their failed marriage, and if the marriage results in offspring, so much the better.

However, more and more young people oppose these arrangements on moral grounds. Unless their spouses know the situation when tying the conjugal knot, it is unethical to involve them in these cover-up schemes, they insist.

The more imminent danger is not moral, but physiological. Gay men who lead double lives are far more likely to spread the HIV virus to their families and to the heterosexual community, doctors maintain.

"Discrimination has made life difficult for gays in China," said Cai Yumao, a medical expert in Shenzhen involved in the Rainbow Work Team, a community outreach programme that helps gays on health matters. "Because they cannot lead a normal sexual life, some of them are tempted to live on the edge and take risks when it comes to sexual practices."

Cai did not deny that gays also have responsibilities and should refrain from unsafe practices no matter what. But he cautioned against the fallacy that homosexuality somehow equals AIDS or sexual diseases. "Metaphorically brushing homosexuals under the rug or throwing mud at them won't solve the problem. Rather, it will exacerbate the problem," he warned.

New trends

Another hazard of shaming gays back into the closet is the emergence of "gay for pay", or "money boys" who are not really gay but offer sexual services for money and are often involved in extortion schemes. These people take advantage of gay people's fears that their true identity will be uncovered. As a consequence, robberies and even murders have been reported.
According to Zhang Beichuan, a Qingdao-based expert on the issue, 38 per cent of gays have been hurt because of their sexual encounters; 21.3 per cent have been hurt by straight lovers and 21 per cent have been victimized when their identity was exposed, suffering insults, beatings or blackmail.

For all the negative news, life for gays in China has improved on the whole. The Internet plays a big part. Gays used to believe they were the only ones in the world who were different, and now they can turn to online communities for help, to socialize, and date. Many love stories have been posted on the net, and many people find that homosexual love can be just as romantic, passionate or heart-breaking as a heterosexual affair.

Gay bars have sprung up all over the metropolitan landscape. Here people can mingle in a normal setting, away from sleazy bathrooms and dirty public toilets where they are putting their health at risk. But "money boys" often mar the scene instead.

Most encouraging are the hotlines and health centres that have cropped up in cities like Shenzhen, Chongqing and Hangzhou. Homosexuals can consult specialists for psychological and medical help. Tests for HIV and venereal diseases are offered free, with guaranteed anonymity.

Meanwhile, Gu Du has not given up hope of his parents' acceptance. But each time he calls them, they hang up.

He should probably send them a book by Li Yinhe, China's top expert on homosexuality, or words by Wang Xiaobo, Li's late husband who was himself a renowned social commentator: "Any sexual relationship that is long-term, stable and built on love should be respected. Gays should take a positive attitude towards life."
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一个伪贵族和一个伪小资的火并

周黎明 发表于 2005-09-12 11:04:18

暴发户鄙夷贫穷,因为他们刚刚脱离贫穷,急需证明自己的成功,因此炫耀财富者多半是刚赚了一点钱的。
本文是对《南方周末》最新cover story的评论。本博客除了“清除仓库陈货”外,也会不定期刊登新的时评。

一个伪贵族和一个伪小资的火并

周黎明


这期的《南方周末》头版故事讲“天涯社区”的一场超级论战,一方是憎恨穷人的“上流社会”小姐易烨卿,另一方是比她更有钱几万倍的真正贵族“北纬67度3分”。北纬通过大量贵族生活细节的拷问,揭穿了易小姐假贵族的真面目。
南周》的标题是“一场虚拟世界的反歧视大战”。依我之愚见,这是一场关于贵族生活的知识竞赛,而且多半是关于西方贵族的生活。我敢打赌,北纬和易小姐均不是他们自己声称的家庭身份,只不过北纬的知识面更广,大概能直接阅读《Vanity Fair》的原版,而易小姐大概每每需要疯狂翻阅《格调》之类资料,从那她自己并没有真实感受的字里行间去挖掘出一些能自我炫耀的素材。我猜,易小姐连真正的小资都算不上,充其量是一个想当小资快想疯了的小白领,只有通过贬低经济地位不如自己的人群,才能找到一点点的心理平衡。也许,她压根就是一名愤青,希望伪装成贵族来挑起贫富仇恨,思路跟前几年湖南那位伪装成外国留学生的青年一样。也许她什么都不是,只是为了寻求刺激。
其实,羡慕财富乃人之本性。记得我还不懂事时,偷偷阅读文革中没有烧毁的《上海的早晨》,对里面资本家、交际花之类的家庭描写孜孜不倦。处于那个年代或知识层面的读者,其实根本没有能力区分世袭贵族和新贵,或资产者和贵族。但羡慕财富和鄙夷贫穷并不一定是互为连襟的,尤其当贫穷不是个人造成而更多是社会机制不合理而造成时,鄙夷贫穷更容易使人找到贫穷的根源。
暴发户鄙夷贫穷,因为他们刚刚脱离贫穷,急需证明自己的成功,因此炫耀财富者多半是刚赚了一点钱的。在西方,真正的上流社会都非常低调,视炫耀财富为极端粗鄙。中国的有钱人十多年前还盛行炫耀财富,现在越来越少见了,一方面是自信的增加,再加上绑架等现象,很多人学会了不再大喊大叫自己多有钱。特别是两三年前美国《时代周刊亚洲版》的一篇封面故事,报道了大批张扬财富的中国新贵,那些本以为能借西方媒体跟西方贵族接轨的人,嚷着打官司,国内媒体也帮他们鸣冤叫屈,(我说,他们活该!)但最后不得不乖乖夹起尾巴做人。这篇报道其实起到了北纬网友的作用,即比新贵更有钱的人非常鄙夷新贵那种自以为高雅其实很粗俗的做法。
在天涯这场论战中,北纬一直牢牢地占领着道德的高地,无论他们两人谁的阅历更广,谁的牛皮更大,北纬的出发点是做人最基本的人文精神——“尊重每个人的尊严、同情弱者”,这在任何年代、任何社会都是有效的。而且他选择的进攻方式堪称“以其人之道还治其人之身”,收效就特别显著。其实,社会上有个把易小姐那样的人并不奇怪,也不可怕。歧视贫穷是非常广泛的现象,扪心自问,我们差不多每个人都有这个毛病,只是很少有人会发展到易小姐那样变态的程度罢了。但,一旦易小姐的思维成为主流,或被统治者所接受,那么,我们离法国大革命就不远了。易小姐如果是王后,必定会是一个Marie Antoinette的再世。她应该知道这位路易16王后的最终命运为何。
每当我们谴责易小姐时,能否也问一下自己:当面对极端或不极端的贫穷时,我们的本能反应是同情吗?我们如何不仅从理论上拉开跟易小姐的距离,而且在行动上证明,我们会把自己肌体内外的易小姐当作病毒来防范,证明她只是我们社会的一个异类和畸变。
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